Maybe Someone Was There for Me After All
by lauren.kagaminexx
Summary: I have been out of school for about a week now, It makes me wonder how much people notice me whilst I am not there. It seems like I drag more attention from when I am not there, in hope that I may not be coming back. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll end it all here with a few small cuts along the cracks on my skin. Maybe I will learn if someone cares for me now.


**I'm going to give you a one-shot, because I feel like it. I don't know why, but I have been going through a really dark phase with my writing at the moment. Actually, this plot is based on the one that I did for my English exam. A lot of people thought that I was insane for a couple of weeks after that… Anyway, on with the one shot!**

**Disclaimer- Yeah, I totally own Vocaloid ****_(note the sarcasm….)_**

**_Updated 26th August *plot flaw with the phone*_**

* * *

_Just end your life already, we've been through enough with you here x_

God, the irony of that kiss at the end is killing me more than anything else. My IPhone lights up again with hate. I thought that light was meant to mean hope.

More irony.

I look up from my phone into the mirror put on the wall to the side of me. My shoulder-length blonde hair is a mess- uncombed, greasy and covering my face. My usual hairclips had been dislodged, making my bangs cover one of my ocean blue eyes that are framed with some Ted Baker glasses. My bow, that my aunt gave me the last time I saw her (which was three years ago), had been taken out and was now on the bed. All it was to others is a stupid piece of white cloth that is meant to make me look innocent and just add to the chances of men wanting to 'do it' with me.

In all honesty: I am still a virgin. I'm not pregnant with _his _child.

My face is even more of a car crash. My eyes are red from crying, along with the area of skin surrounding it. My mascara and my liquid eyeliner had been streaming down my face from the crying, making my under eye area look like I hadn't slept in days. The fact that I had also been rubbing my eyes and I had not go to sleep either in the last week didn't help. My skin is dry and my lips were chapped. I think I am breaking out… not that it is the worst of my problems.

_Why aren't you answering? Are you dead or are you busy fucking another guy? Don't you have the father of your child to keep you busy enough? No reply means you are dead… hope that is the case x_

Stop with the kisses already, they mean nothing. They are just as helpful as myself. They only cause problems. _I only cause problems_.

My world is full of hate. No love, no light, no freedom. It is crumbling around me and there is no stopping it. Another glimpse of light and a vibration on my bed. I can't take it. I take my phone and throw it at the wall opposite me, thus breaking it.

For some reason, the phone symbolises me in a strange way. It is useful in a number of ways but if it is not used properly and is not given enough care, it will break easily. Why can't anyone see past the image that Zatsune has created for me and get to know me a bit more?

I have been out of school for a week, without eating, without even taking care of my own personal hygiene. That has made people think that I had killed myself or that I had attempted so and was sent to a mental institution. God, people are so ignorant in this generation…

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep_

Insult after insult after insult gathers on my timeline on Facebook. Then I see one post that stands out. It is one from one of my best friends and the one who is apparently (God forbid) the father to my non-existent child.

_Why do you hide behind your profiles to say things that you wouldn't in reality? Rin is my friend and I will do anything to make sure that she is alive and well… there is no father to the child that you are talking about because there isn't one. She is a virgin and I know that she is an intelligent enough person to not lose her virginity at the age of fourteen. It just makes me sick to see you treat someone so wonderful like the way that you are doing so now. Keep going, Rin, I will always be there for you, no matter what. _

I'm sorry, Len, but I think that the world would be a better place without me. I will try and delay it as long as possible because of the hope that I have inside of me. Hope is telling me that one day, this will be over and I will be able to move on with my life.

_Maybe today is the day that she is dead! _

22 likes…

_Like if you think that Rin should just kill herself now_

28 likes…

_What would you think if someone said that about you? Like if you want to tell Rin to stay strong and carry on_

Len's status had 3 likes…I've had enough of statuses. I open my draw to find sliver salvation staring back at me. I then proceed to roll up my sleeve to find a collection of old scars and new scars, with the most recent being only yesterday.

_Beep… if you cut then I will be coming over…_

_I'm sorry, Len, it's for your own good…_

After trailing my finger over my porcelain skin that was decorated with scars, I held the knife above my wrist. I stopped for what seemed like forever, but in reality was only a few seconds, to contemplate about doing this. What's the use of hope anyway? It's just a pathetic lifeline to those who are at their weakest…

I am at my weakest…

The blade slides across my skin, letting drops of dark crimson drip out. I wait for a few seconds before adding another to the collection. Another is added and then another after that. I, again, wait for a few seconds before I realise that I have cut too deep.

_Shit…shit…I need something to compress it… _

I grab the nearest piece of material to me and hold it firmly against my wrist. The thing that I am using happens to be my bow. My vision starts to blur and I begin to feel dizzy. The door flies open to see, what I suppose to be, paramedics and blonde, messy hair.

Len has come to save me at the wrong moment.

He comes towards me and forces me to sit down on my bed, whist staining my orange bed sheets with drops of red. I then blank out.

Life is coloured red and it is too precious to throw away. It is too late now, I have nearly finished my job here. Wait, I hear something. Is that crying?

I open my eyes to see nothing but white.

"Am I in heaven?"

"Rin! I thought I nearly lost you!" I am pulled into a hug with a sharp pain in my wrist shooting through my body. I wince in reaction to it and I am released form a death grip.

"Len, remember that she has an IV drip in her arm and she is still really fragile…" I see a flash of long pink and teal hair come into the room.

"Woops, I've just realised that, Luka. Sorry, Rin."

"No one has answered my question yet,"

"Rin, you are not in heaven. You lost a lot of blood, though, so it will be a few weeks before you are allowed to leave."

"Listen, we were devastated when we heard that you attempted to kill yourself. You nearly left your family and your friends behind. I know that you didn't want this to happen but it has, ok. When you sent that message last week I had to get paramedics over to yours by just clear instinct."

"I've been out for a week?"

"Yeah, just remember that we are always here for you, no matter what." The three people smile in front of me, knowing that I will need as much support possible in the next few weeks.

Maybe there was always someone there for me the whole time without me realising it.

* * *

**What has come over me? I just needed to get a dark one out there for you guys to read. It may be good or bad but if you or anyone you know is contemplating suicide then please call your nearest hotline. There is always someone out there who is looking out for you- you just might not notice them. If you need someone to talk to, you are always free to PM me and talk :)**

**Please R&R- it is a great help to me and gives me energy to write new stuff. **

**Review Replies:**

**KawaiiPinkPeach- thank you!**

**IttyBittyMegurine- glad that you liked it- are you going to upload your first fanfic soon? Xxx **

**Thank you for reading. Lauren-Chan is out xx**


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